Balance is a Lie. A Big, Fat, Glittery Lie.

Let’s get one thing straight: balance is a lie. A big, fat, glittery lie sold to us by social media Goddesses who probably have a team of nannies, personal chefs, or a magic wand straight out of Harry Potter. I used to think balance was something I could achieve if I just tried hard enough. If I color-coded my calendar, broke through the glass ceiling, meal-prepped like a Pinterest mom, and mastered the art of saying “no” without feeling guilty - then, and only then, would I have achieved the level of perfection I was striving for. Spoiler alert: none of that worked. Instead, I became a walking, talking dumpster fire fueled by caffeine and the occasional existential crisis.

The truth is, balance is a myth because life isn’t a perfectly curated Instagram grid. It’s a chaotic, messy, and often ridiculous series of events that don’t care about your carefully crafted to-do list. After days filled with juggling work, kids, marriage, deciding what to cook for dinner, and trying to keep my house from looking like it should be on an episode of Hoarders, you'll normally find me burnt out on the couch at 9 PM, eating peanut butter straight from the jar while sipping an overfilled glass of Riesling and scrolling through TikTok - feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and overstimulated. Definitely not the perfect image of motherhood sold to me by social media. 

I’ve spent years chasing this elusive idea of balance, only to realize it’s about as real as the stuffed unicorn my toddler loves so much. It took a lot of self-reflection to understand I had become my own worst enemy; constantly raising the bar and putting unnecessary pressure on myself to become the picture of perfection in every aspect of my life. 

But life isn’t just about figuring out how to keep all of the plates spinning at once. It’s about deciding which ones are worth catching when they inevitably fall, and the choices that follow the realization of being imperfect will simultaneously make you feel like both a failure and the most in-control of your life you've ever been. Getting rid of the people, things, and situations in your life that no longer serve you is essentially freeing up space you can fill with people, things, and situations that actually bring you joy. Start by throwing out the to-do list that’s stressing you out. Replace it with a ‘this-is-what-I-can-actually-handle-today’ list. Prioritize what truly matters and let go of what you can't control. Remember, no one has it all figured out, and you are not alone. Give yourself the grace to grow, the space to stumble, and the permission to not have it all together. Your worth isn’t measured by how perfectly you juggle all the plates, it’s about how much love and patience you show yourself in the process. 

The morale of my story so far is balance is overrated, perfection is a trap, and some days the best you can do is keep the dumpster fire from spreading. Heck, some days I use that fire to roast a smores because chocolate can fix anything, right? If there’s one thing I’ve learned on this journey, it’s that life isn’t about having it all together - it’s about giving yourself permission to be in "beta mode".  Accepting that perfection is unattainable, and instead, striving to show up for yourself with grace, patience, and a little humor. It’s about those imperfect moments when you realize that you’re still moving forward, even if you’ve dropped a few plates along the way. So next time you feel like you’re failing at life, remind yourself you’re just in beta mode - testing out the next great version of yourself.

Hang in there xoxo